Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tough Decisions

The last few days I have been thinking about a time when I was going to Los Angeles. It was quite awhile ago, and I called a travel agent (remember those?) and said that I needed help finding a hotel close to Los Angeles but on the beach. The travel agent informed me with great frustration that Los Angeles was not on the beach; I could not have both. (For the record, I just said "close").

In our family lately we have really struggled to move two opposites together. Garry really really likes his job. He likes the growth potential. He likes his job responsibility. He likes the flexibility it offers. He's worked his way up and feels sick over the thought of starting all over again in an organization that does not offer much potential and does not offer the same salary potential.

I really, really want to move. Really. I never intended to live so far from my family. When I moved here in 1998, my sister lived in Silver Spring. I stayed with her until I found a place in Northern Virginia, and I really enjoyed always having a place to go on the weekends for a little family time. But she moved, and I started law school and then got married, and twelve years later, here I am.

We have the opportunity to move, and since I have found out about this opportunity, I have been daydreaming.

In my head I've planned manicure night with my sisters and sister-in-law. In my head I see myself looking at houses, finding one with a playroom (separate from general living space -- heaven!) one with a monstrosity of a swing set and playhouse in the backyard.

I have daydreamed about telling my kids to shut the door as they run outside to play or ride their bikes in our cul-de-sac.

I've daydreamed about going to Arby's with Cindy and Arctic Circle with Rachelle. (I have such a white trash pallet).

I've daydreamed about having huge family parties for birthdays instead of having to stress over who to invite. And I've daydreamed about my kids going to birthdays and baptisms instead of just hearing about them.

I want it so much I would start packing tomorrow if I could.

But, I think it'd be easier to put Los Angeles on the beach.


My25Cents said...

Ahhh, I relate on so many levels. So often there is a gap between what I WANT for myself and what the Lord wants for me. I would pack up in a heartbeat if I didn't know that this is where we are supposed to be. So, Alicia, where are you & your family supposed to be according to His plan? If it were only as easy as picking a place we liked. Phooey.

The GruCru said...

How about convincing your entire family to move east?
Serously, I do feel your pain. Big deicsions are so hard to make. I haven't really slept since since been gone and I pretty much eating anything the kids don't eat first.

LeeAnn said...

Ditto to My25Cents. Those are great words of wisdom. Also think of all the GREAT friends you have made BECAUSE you don't live near your family. As for me my life would be so much duller with out all the WONDERFUL people I have met and made friends with in the 25years that I have lived away from family (with my fam in UT and Duane's in ND we have ALWAYS been away from one or the other and sometimes, like now, both) "Bloom where you are planted!" We all love you and your cute little family and don't want you to go anywhere else!

Tina said...

Amen to all of the above . . . . and I completely agree with LeeAnn!!! (almost always completely agree with LeeAnn!!! :)