I have a few core friends who consistently 'have my back' as the saying goes. It's to an extreme level. If I robbed a bank and told them about it they would probably say (1) they never liked that bank anyway and (2) could they help me hide the money?
My feelings were hurt yesterday and after church I spoke with someone I considered to be a friend and who had witnessed what happened. I asked for her opinion, and, boy, did she ever give it to me. This is not the first time she has done this, either. A few months ago she asked how I was doing through the busy holiday season and when I told her about a situation that had me concerned, she was brutally (and kind of unfairly) honest that time as well.
So who is the better friend? The one that has your back despite the situation or the one who says it like it is and might, in turn, help you improve? I am trying to recognize the very real benefits of having such a friend. But, I have to admit, sometimes I prefer the ones that have my back, no matter what.
3 comments:
I'm kind of the "tell it like it is" person. I always TRY NOT to tell it like it is unless asked for my opinion . . . . when you ask for an opinion, don't you want the truth? ? ? ? ? You wouldn't value you an opinion given otherwise would you? ? ? ? I don't feel honest if I just smile and nod my head and say everything is wonderful when in my heart it is not.
These are questions I have struggled with most of my adult life :)
I'll remember when you ask my opinion (if you ever do) just to bite my tongue until it bleeds!!!
A little bit of both in my opinion. A lot of time we just need to vent and feel a little validated. We don't necessarily need opinions. : )
tough question! I find it a lot easier just to always be right and then no one ever needs to be brutally honest w/ me.
Seriously, I think sometimes we are asking for advice, and other times we just want to rant and want someone to assure us that we are in the right.
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